Dear Daddy: An Epistle of the Broken

viber image
I wish I can say this to you but I can’t. I have so many words for you but it seems like I can’t utter it personally (maybe). If that time will come, you’ll feel the very loud silence, the very aching pain, the very unexplainable longing, grief, and all of the random shit I’m feeling and you’ve made me feel. A few days from now and I’ll be twenty-three years of age and yet I still didn’t receive any explanations of the hows and whys. Yes, I am still wondering, when will that be.
I don’t know exactly what it feels like to be talking heart to heart about my frustrations, happiness, or anything going on with my life. I don’t know how it’s like during family days, or on Sundays that I have this father to cling my arms with upon going to Church, or how it’s like when I was a child to be sleeping on our couch and magically waking up on the bed already. I don’t know how it was having suitors with a father interviewing them, or having a boyfriend telling him not to hurt me or else he’ll get serve what he deserves. Never in my life that I have a father to tell about my grades, how difficult my projects and assignments were or how school days were jovial or challenging.  Well, thanks to my grandfather, he did it for me, he did it all for me. Does it feel the same?

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Events · love

Happy International Women’s Day

March 8, 2018, is International Women’s Day. This is for all the women who’s been tough and brave fighting for their rights. It is such an honor to have a day to commemorate women on their achievements, on their battles, on their hardships and all. No, this is not the only day that we need to notice and acknowledge women, but this is a special day to be vocal about womanity.
This is for the media personnel, who’s been always up to bringing the truth, the news all around the world. This is for the teachers, who are imparting their knowledge to students, to be the light of the future. This is for the entrepreneurs, accountants, economists who serve for the betterment of our economy. This is for the street sweepers, janitress, messengers to remind them that they are valued. This is for our mothers, who had been our source of happiness and care from day one. This is for them, for always being there, cooking us meals, waking us up for school or even for work, giving us advice for life or for love. This is the day for all kind of woman. This is the day to honor every woman of different race, cultures, religion, belief, professions, etc. This is the day to remind us that we are all amazing, we are brave and strong even on our weakest points. Ironic but true.
This is to honor Anne Frank, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, Oprah Winfrey, Taylor Swift, Ellen de Generes, Jane Austen, Hellen Keller, Eleonor Roosevelt, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, J.K. Rowling, Malala Yousafzai and all of the amazing woman there is, including us, including YOU.
We don’t have to be famous like them. What we need is to empower and uplift every woman.  Keep on kicking ass! Celebrate womanhood. Happy International Women’s Day! Be Free!
love · Poetry

Lost and Found

You said a thousand lies,
and I believed it hundred times.
It’s easy for you to put wool on their eyes.
I’m glad, your words honey, I didn’t buy.
Your farfetched actions
even your mediocre love,
egotistic and unbearable,
Honey, I’m glad we bid goodbye.
You’ve said you’ll kill yourself
pull the trigger and soon you’ll die.
Honey, I wonder if you are scared?
You’ve turned your life to be a bait.
You have an old diamond.
You also have a new one.
You wanted to use it at the same time.
But chances forbid, you can only have one.
They said, “Trust but verify.”
Oh honey, are you happy?
I believed your sham
You got me enthralled.
You keep on beating on the bush
Oh, I forgot you’re good at turning tables.
But I ain’t a fool until hell freezes over.
I know, yes honey, I deserve better.



Fall in Love When You are Really Ready

viber image
I don’t want to blame you or I don’t want to blame myself either, but yeah, we’re both have to be blamed. I gave myself a try, for years that I am single. I met you during our hike at Mount Daraitan with common friends and acquaintances from the past hikes. We’ve followed each other on Instagram right before our hike and you’ve told me to add you on Facebook so you can tag me on the pictures taken during the hike – and so I did. You became the clown, the guide, and everything, through rough edges, epic, and long trails, of all the phases and stopovers, you never failed to put the laugh on our faces despite that difficulty in climbing. I never thought that I’ll grow feelings for you since you’ve been a badass also, the guy I know that will do more evil rather than doing good. I never thought that I’ll write a blog about you. But you know what they said, people write and composed whenever they are sad, they are angry or they are in love. This time, I don’t know if I’m feeling all of these, or I’m feeling just the two of it.

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– a painting at Pinto Art Museum –
 Yo Escribo
Beyond her sweet smile
is a deep sadness
Her bloom will deceive you
Her vibe will make a fool out of you
She is a dark soul
She is a paradox
Her laughter is feigned,
a woman of sham and fallacy.
She is wandering.
She is wondering.
In time, this curse will fade.
She will come back and
be a laidback someday.



Getting A Tattoo: First, But Definitely Not The Last

I know some of you cringes whenever you saw someone who has a lot of tattoos. I often heard people saying that having a tattoo is filthy and unpleasant. As for me, it is an art, it connotes beauty and it’s a masterpiece having your body as the canvass. December 03, 2017 is a significant date for me. It was the very first time I got a tattoo. It’s quite a pleasure since I’ve looked forward it for years.

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The End of Giggles at Gigs

I wanted to create a blog per month, but I am out of topics so I find it hard to construct one. It’s been on my mind since I started blogging to feature my love for music, and going on to gigs. I wanted to share some experiences of how happy I am meeting the artists up close behind these voices I’m hearing in Spotify only. I have few drafts but never posted it. I don’t know why. I have words but I can’t seem to finish the entry.  I wanted to share how I met new people and became friends with them because of gigs, how cute it is when the bands played with lights also playing with your eyes. It’s like a trickery between your eyes and ears. I also wanted to share how much bliss I’m feeling whenever I’m bumping with these artists, having small talks and photo ops.

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Please Don’t Ask Me How to Overcome Quarter Life Crisis because I Don’t Know How

Nate Frizzell – at BGC Arts
I don’t know when and how this started. I am a laid back person, at least that is how I view myself for a long time. I used to be the jolly one, the one who always spills the joke and stories about which and who. I’m still like this, but part of me has changed, changed a lot.
They said that life is not a competition, but why it seems like we’re battling every day to endless challenges? It may bring the best or worst of us. If we try to view it on the bright side, we will depict every scar, pain as a way to make our lives better, aiding us to be a good or a better person somehow, then congratulations. But there are some people who cannot be affirmative all the time. Some of us are celebrating the pain, making things and situations harder and harder every day.

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