I wish I can say this to you but I can’t. I have so many words for you but it seems like I can’t utter it personally (maybe). If that time will come, you’ll feel the very loud silence, the very aching pain, the very unexplainable longing, grief, and all of the random shit I’m feeling and you’ve made me feel. A few days from now and I’ll be twenty-three years of age and yet I still didn’t receive any explanations of the hows and whys. Yes, I am still wondering, when will that be.
I don’t know exactly what it feels like to be talking heart to heart about my frustrations, happiness, or anything going on with my life. I don’t know how it’s like during family days, or on Sundays that I have this father to cling my arms with upon going to Church, or how it’s like when I was a child to be sleeping on our couch and magically waking up on the bed already. I don’t know how it was having suitors with a father interviewing them, or having a boyfriend telling him not to hurt me or else he’ll get serve what he deserves. Never in my life that I have a father to tell about my grades, how difficult my projects and assignments were or how school days were jovial or challenging. Well, thanks to my grandfather, he did it for me, he did it all for me. Does it feel the same?
Continue reading “Dear Daddy: An Epistle of the Broken”
I can’t remember when was the last time I did go to Church. I pray I pray a lot, every day, but I have no energy to go to Church – kneel down, recite prayers, repent, and so on and so forth. One time, I saw a Facebook shared post saying “If you don’t go to Church because of the people, then your faith is in people, not in God.” The reason that I lose interest in going to Church, mainly because of people. I can’t stand the hypocrisy of Church-goers, screwing every day, doing wrong deeds every day, having vices – abusing it every hour of the day, expand rumors rather than the truth, and other multiple sins they are doing every single day. But they go to Church, singing Hallelujah, Praise the Lord, asking for forgiveness, but still committing the same mistakes.
Continue reading “Have I Lost My Faith?”
I know some of you cringes whenever you saw someone who has a lot of tattoos. I often heard people saying that having a tattoo is filthy and unpleasant. As for me, it is an art, it connotes beauty and it’s a masterpiece having your body as the canvass. December 03, 2017 is a significant date for me. It was the very first time I got a tattoo. It’s quite a pleasure since I’ve looked forward it for years.
Continue reading “Getting A Tattoo: First, But Definitely Not The Last”
I wanted to create a blog per month, but I am out of topics so I find it hard to construct one. It’s been on my mind since I started blogging to feature my love for music, and going on to gigs. I wanted to share some experiences of how happy I am meeting the artists up close behind these voices I’m hearing in Spotify only. I have few drafts but never posted it. I don’t know why. I have words but I can’t seem to finish the entry. I wanted to share how I met new people and became friends with them because of gigs, how cute it is when the bands played with lights also playing with your eyes. It’s like a trickery between your eyes and ears. I also wanted to share how much bliss I’m feeling whenever I’m bumping with these artists, having small talks and photo ops.
Continue reading “The End of Giggles at Gigs”